Season VI, Episode 8 – Recon

Line of the night – “They are setting up pylons, like the ones in New Othertown. You know, like the ones that keep out That Smoke Thing…” – Sawyer (not his best work, but still brought a smile to my face)


This episode was good, but I was actually more stoked with the PREVIEWS of next week’s ‘Richard Alpert’ episode. Off to the episode…It’s 8:42 pm and Sawyer’s knockin boots with a lady friend. It’s not Kate and it's not Juliet…holy sh!t, it’s Taylor Vaughan from “She’s All That”. Sawyer tries to pull the ‘pigeon drop’ con and Taylor ain’t falling for it because she is married to a con man. Taylor pulls out a gun, and asks who is going to save him now. Sawyer’s response, “I don’t need saving.” (We’ve all heard that line before). Sawyer admits that it’s a police setup and all he has to do is say the magic word, and cops will bust through the door. She still does not believe him, so Sawyer says the magic word, “Expecto Patronum!!” Actually he says, “Lafleur” and cops come bursting in. Turns out Miles is his partner in this side-ways timeline. Surprise.

Back from the LOST intro…Jeff Probst is getting Sawyer and Jin ready for the next Survivor Challenge when Flocke returns with the other Others, Kate, Claire and a whacked out Sayid. Jin wants to get out of there to find Sun, but his ankle is still hurting him, where’s Nurse Kim when you need her??? Claire goes to her “Degoba Yoda Hut” and grabs the rope, the knife and a candlestick. She’s up to something, and I don’t think it involves Professor Plum in the Conservatory.

WHOOSH to the Sideways timeline, Detective James Ford is calling every Anthony Cooper on his 'list' to find out if they were in Alabama in 1976. Please note, Anthony Cooper is John Locke’s con-man father whom Sawyer strangled to death with chains back in Season 3. Miles swings by and sets up James on a blind date “with a girl who works with my dad at the museum.” So in this timeline, Dr. Pierre Chang is alive and well.

Back to the jungle and Flocke has a one-on-one with Sawyer. Flocke tells Sawyer that the black smoke killed everyone who stayed at the temple, and furthermore tells him that “I’m the Smoke Thing!” “They were convinced that they were protecting the island from me, when in fact, all I want to do is leave.” Kill or be killed. Flocke has a job for Sawyer. He wants him to gather information from the people on Hydra Island. “You are the best liar I ever met.”

WHOOSH back to 2004 and the Sideways timeline. James Ford is on his blind date, and it turns out to be good ol’ Charlotte. While James and Charlotte are enjoying dinner, Daniel Faraday is sitting in the parking lot stalking Charlotte with binoculars…psycho. Just kidding. James says, “What are you like...Indiana Jones or something?” Chris Gallaway just fist-pumped like a champ. James ‘tells her the truth’ about why he became a cop, “I got to a point in my life where it was either become a criminal or become a cop.” They go back to his place for some hanky panky. She asks for a t-shirt and decides to root through his sock drawer. She finds a “SAWYER” file which reveals that James Ford’s parents still suffered the same fate as the original time line.

WHOOSH to Hydra Island. Sawyer is walking through the former Dharma station and sees the Polar Bear cages. He finds Kate’s shirt, and I was hoping that Isabel was going to sneak up behind him. Apparently she died back in Season 3 at the same time as Mr. Friendly on the beach, but I never noticed that….

Back at the Others camp, and Sayid is in a ‘dead’ zone. Kate asks if he believes Locke can get them off the island, and he half-heartedly agrees. Claire comes out of nowhere and delivers the signature Rock Bottom on Kate. Cat Fight…Cat Fight!! Flocke throws Claire out of the way like a rag doll and Claire continues to rant about how Kate took her baby. Flocke bitch-slaps Claire, “you disappeared, she couldn’t find you, she did what she had to do.” Wow, that was pretty intense!

WHOOSH back to Sideways timeline and Charlie Pace’s older brother, Liam, is trying to track him down. Nice cameo. Miles finds out that James Ford has been sneaking around and lying to him. “I’m not your partner anymore.” This reminds me of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “you can find yourself a new best friend!!”

WHOOSH to Hydra Island, and Sawyer finds the beach camp of Ajira Airways. There’s a pile of dead bodies, so who killed them? In the distance someone is running away. It’s Marlee Matlin from Children of a Lesser God. Actually the girl’s name is Zoe, but she looks a lot like Marlee Matlin. She says that she was collecting fire wood and when she came back they were all dead. Sawyer responds, “Trust me god has nothing to do with it!” (I personally wonder if that is a subliminal message from the writers to us). Sawyer and Zoe walk along the beach, and as they are about to climb into his boat, he pulls a gun on her. Sawyer sees through her web of lies, but not before the cast of the Big Bang Theory jumps out of the brush armed with automatic rifles. “Take me to your leader.”

Back on the main island, Flocke sits on the beach with Kate to show her where Sawyer went. Flocke admits he was the one that told Claire that the Others stole Aaron. She needed something to keep her going. Then he has some very interesting comments, “I’m not a dead man. My mother was crazy. A long time ago before I looked like this, I had a mother just like anyone else. She was a very disturbed woman, and I had growing pains. I had problems I am still trying to work my way through, problems that could have been avoided had things been different.” So what the hell does that all mean? Who’s Locke’s mom? He also adds that, "Aaron has a crazy mother too." I knew it, I knew Aaron was going to have a prominent role, right…right?

WHOOSH to 2004 and Sawyer is enjoying a Hungry Man microwave dinner while watching Little House on the Prairie…interesting combo. RIP Michael Landon. He evaluates how he treated Charlotte when he kicked her to the curb at 3:00 in the morning. He goes to her but ‘he blew it’. Sorry bud, that awesome Sunflower didn’t charm her too much.

WHOOSH back to Hydra Island and the dorks from Big Bang Theory lead Sawyer towards…Widmore’s submarine. Marlee Matlin (Zoe) leads Sawyer down the submarine hatch. A guard that looks just like that dude from The Shield is waiting for him. He takes Sawyer to meet Charles Widmore. They establish an agreement that Sawyer will lead Flocke right up to his doorstep so that they can kill him. In return, Sawyer wants his friends to be protected and safe passage off the island. They shake…and the deal is done.

Back on the main land, Claire apologizes to Kate and they hug…how sweet. Part of me wanted Claire to grab Kate’s head and put her in the Sleeper hold, I am still not convinced Claire is back to normal. Sawyer gets back to the beach and tells Flocke everything about Widmore’s plan, even the fact that, “they are setting up Pylons like the ones in New Othertown…you know, like the ones that keep out That Smoke Thing…” Flocke appreciates Sawyers loyalty.

WHOOSH to our final scene from Sideways 2004. James explains to Miles his obsession with finding Anthony Cooper. He admits that he is trying to track down Anthony Cooper so he can kill him. A runaway vehicle slams into their squad car, and the driver takes off running. This has to be Kate…well Son of a Bitch!

WHOOSH to Camp Flocke, and Sawyer sits with Kate. He tells Kate that Widmore is there for Flocke, and he is going to ‘let them fight it out.’ While this presumed fight is taking place, they are going to get the hell off the island, but they ain’t taking the plane…they are taking the sub.

BAMM- LOST

My first thought at the end was, “Ok dipshit…so I guess piloting a naval submarine is sooo much easier than flying a commercial airplane Just like driving a car, no big deal.”

Will Jack and his group join Widmore to take on Camp Flocke? ORRRR is the whole Widmore arrival really a bait and switch tactic by the writers. What if Widmore is actually in cahoots with MIB Flocke? If Widmore was there to kill Flocke, then that would mean that Ilana (Jordin Sparks) and her "Jacob-is-Awesome" team should have an alliance with Widmore. However this is not the case, because back in Season 4 during Miles's flashback story he is picked up in a van by Bram (Ilana's friend) who informs Miles that he is playing for the wrong team (Widmore's Freighter team).

Where are Rose and Bernard, and who’s team will they be on?

Until next week’s long-awaited Richard Alpert episode, Namaste and Good Luck!

-Slice

Season VI, Episode 7 – Dr. Linus

Line of the night – “Is it like a terminator thing…are you a cyborg?” - Hurley




So just when you think we finally have established our 2 sides of the ‘war that is coming’ between Team Jordin Sparks and Team Flocke MIB, enter the wicked Tim Wakefield knuckleball of Charles Widmore. I wonder if Penny and Desmond are aboard the submarine?

We start off this week’s episode with Ben Linus running through the jungle (cue the dramatic trip and fall). He runs into Team Sparks consisting of Ilana, Miles, Frank and Sun as they are planning their next course of action (head back to the beach).

Flash sideways to Dr. Benjamin Linus portraying a European history teacher at a local high school. He’s describing Napoleon’s last days. Ironically, he is actually describing his alternate 2007 self, “On this island everything changed, here he lost his power even if he still had the title of emperor.’ ‘With no power it was meaningless.”

Dr. Linus ends class and a timid Principal Reynolds is waiting for him. Pop quiz, what other famous character did this actor portray? Answer – one of my favorite college movie villains, Professor Jerry Hathaway from Real Genius.

Your colon: what does it look like? - classic Real Genius line.

I would have also accepted that prick Walter Peck from Ghost Busters. Actor William Atherton continues to shine as the authoritative jerk who commands Ben to cancel his History club meeting and get to detention. Side note - Wouldn’t it have been cool to have outside lockers like they do at Ben’s school (and like in the Karate Kid)? We transition over to the teacher’s lounge and after several comments by Ben and Doc Artz, a substitute teacher named John Locke suggests that maybe Dr. Linus should be principal.

WHOOSH to 2007 and Ilana has Miles relive Jacob’s last moments. “Linus Killed Him!” Miles describes Ben standing over Jacob’s dead body with a bloody dagger in his hand. Ilana says, “Jacob was the closest thing I ever had to a father.” OK, so does that mean Ilana’s been on the island before, and lived with Jacob? How long was she off the island, and what’s her relationship to Jacob?

We return from commercial and Team Sparks is making camp at the beach. No one seems to question Ilana as to why she considered Jacob to be a father figure?!? (I don’t get this part of the LOST)

WHOOSH to our sideways universe and Ben is making a TV dinner for his ailing father. In this reality, Ben’s dad is alive (barely), and appears to have a loving relationship with his son. Roger Linus reveals the following, “I wanted so much more in life for you Ben, that’s why I signed up for the Dharma Initiative and took you to the island.’ ‘They were decent people, smarter than I’ll ever be.’ ‘Imagine how different our lives would have been if we stayed?’ ‘Who knows what you would have become?” LOL – Actually Uncle Rico Wolfman, your son would have become a genocidal psychopath obsessed with power and control, and you would have been just another body in a pit of dead Dharma volunteers. There is a ring at the doorbell, and kiss my grits…it’s Alex Rousseau? At this point, I am excitedly expecting an untidy Danielle Rousseau to jump out of the shrubs and throw a net over Ben's head...no luck. Alex has stopped by to find out why History Club was canceled, and Ben agrees to tutor her the following morning instead. There is something very disturbing/creepy about the looks they give each other...

WHOOSH to the beach and Ilana explains to Sun that she does not know if she is supposed to protect her, Jin, or both since they are candidates. We confirm that a candidate is someone chosen to replace Jacob. “If you are selected, then I imagine you’ll find out!” There are only 6 left (Kwon, Ford, Reyes, Shephard, Jarah, and Austen).

Still on the island, Jack/Hurley head for the Temple and run into Richard (nice to see him again). Richard is supposedly going to lead them over to the Temple. Back at the beach, Frank Lapidas informs Ben Linus that he was supposed to pilot Oceanic 815. Ben seems extremely intrigued by this. “Well the island still got you in the end, didn’t it!?” Ilana takes Ben over to the make-shift cemetery and straps Benry to a tree instructing him to dig his own grave. That sucks.

Flash sideways to 2004 and Alex is being tutored by Ben. Alex wants to go to Yale, but needs a letter of recommendation from someone that went there. Alex refers to Principal Reynolds as a pervert because he had inappropriate ‘relations’ with the school nurse on school property. Ben looks ticked off and I actually slightly feel bad for his existing conditions.

WHOOSH to the beach and Ben offers Miles the $3.2 million dollars he was originally bribed in exchange for Miles’ releasing him. Miles responds, “Why would I need your money when there are a couple of jabronies, Nikki and Paulo, under there that got buried with $8 Million dollars in diamonds on top of them.” Nice reference to the biggest mistake from Season 3 Lost writers, you just made my evening.

Off to the jungle with Jack, Hurley and Richard. Hurley grills Richard with questions about his age, “You look the same as you did 30 years ago…how is that possible..is it like a terminator thing, are you a cyborg?” (No, I’m not a cyborg) “Vampire?” Richard then says, “Jacob gave me a gift!” They arrive at one of my favorite places on the island, the Black Rock! Jack’s pissed that Hurley knew the people at the Temple were in danger. Richard asks, “You spoke to Jacob?’ ‘Well whatever he said, don’t believe him!” Richard appears to be a little upset with Jacob as well and begins to board the Black Rock. “There’s something I need to do…DIE!”

WHOOSH to 2004 and Doc Artz helps Ben retrieve emails from the nurse to Principal Reynolds. “I guess you are a real killer!”

WHOOSH to the Black Rock and we find out that Richard has been there before. “All this time spent on this island, and today is the first day I ever came back.” Richard finds a crate of dynamite and reveals to Jack and Hurley that he can’t kill himself even if he wanted to, so that’s why he needs Jack to do it for him. More reveals in the Black Rock from Richard, “Jacob touched me, it was to be considered a gift, but it’s not a gift at all, it’s a curse.” Richard goes on to say that he spent his life in the service of a man whom said that everything was happening for a reason, and that Jacob had a plan he would eventually share with Richard. Now Richard wants to end his life, because he feels that his entire life had no purpose. Jack lights the fuse, sits down across from Richard and says, “Now…let’s talk.”

Jack explains that he was at Jacob’s Lighthouse. Jack feels that Jacob wanted him to see his house growing up, and Jack’s on the island for some ultimate purpose. Richard says, “But what if you are wrong?” Jack’s simple yet convincing response, “I’m not!”

Over to the Beach camp, and a ticka ticka sound can be heard in the jungle. Flocke appears and attempts to recruit Ben. Flocke’s getting a group together to leave the island, but once they leave, he needs someone to watch the island. Flocke wants Benry to take on that responsibility. Flocke and the rest of his gang will be at the Hydra Station.

WHOOSH to a sideways 2004 and Dr. Linus confronts Principal Reynolds about the 30 or so inappropriate emails from the school nurse. The principal turns the table when he reveals that Alex Rousseau wants a letter of recommendation to Yale. Here’s Ben Linus’s second chance to save Alex!!

WHOOSH to the Beach Camp and Ilana chases down Ben after he has escaped his shackle. Ben explains why he killed Jacob. “I had a chance to save her, but chose the island over her all in the name of Jacob!" Now he needs to go to Locke because he is the only one that will have him. Ilana goes soft on all of us and takes Benry back? Awwww…

WHOOSH to the final scene of our flash-sideways and Ben has saved Alex. Principal Reynolds wrote the letter of recommendation, and the history club is back on schedule. A happy ending for Ben and Alex…yeah!

WHOOSH to the beach with lots of slow motion shots and classic dramatic ‘reunion’ music. Hugs all around for Hurley and Jack as they join the beach group.
The camera shot quickly switches to the ocean and a periscope peers from the surface of the water. “Sir, there are people on the beach, should we stop?” Enter Charles Widmore, “No, proceed as planned!”

BAMM- LOST

Not one of the best episodes of the season, but solid. It was interesting to see such a selfless Ben Linus in the alternate reality, and even more interesting to learn about Richard’s past. I wonder when his flashback will be shown?

Like I said in the beginning, it would appear that now there is a third component in our ‘war for the island’. So who’s on the sub with Widmore?

Are Eloise and Desmond going to show up on the sub?

Where are Rose and Bernard?

Is Kate now stuck on Team Flocke for good?

Where are Jin and Sawyer?

Until next week, Namaste and Good Luck!

-Slice

Season VI, Episode 6 – Sundown

Line of the night – “She (Claire) just strolled in here an hour ago acting all weird…still HOT though.” - Miles




Well that was pretty dark, literally. I guess the darkness really did grow inside Sayid, enough to make him murder two people! We start out with a Flash-sideways and Sayid has a lovely bouquet of flowers for presumably Nadia. Let’s see who answers the door. Yep, Nadia is there and this should be a nice reunion for the two of them, except for the fact that two little Iraqi children enter the scene and call him “Uncle Sayid”?! Sayid’s brother, Omer, has married Nadia? You can obviously tell there are feelings between Nadia and Sayid.

The Jarrah family sits down to quaint Iraqi dinner, and little Sally Jarrah finds a picture of mommy in Uncle Sayid’s bag. For a second I thought Sayid was going to fly across the table and snap her neck, but no luck. Omer hears his daughter, and Sayid is BUUUSTED.

Metal-Airplane-landing WHOOSH to 2007 and the Temple. My new favorite ninja, Dogen, explains to Sayid that the electrical machine they used on him works like a scale (one side is good and one side is evil). The scale tipped the wrong way for Sayid which means he’s becoming evil. Mental note - I really enjoy Dogen’s character so I hope he is around for a while. Dogen busts out his karate moves like Sho’nuff the Shogun of Harlem. Sayid retaliates by throwing little clay pots and various herbs and spices back at Dogen. Quite comical. A baseball drops from Dogen’s ancient desk, and he stops. “Go, leave this place and never come back.”

We transition to Flocke and Claire standing at the base of the gray ash surrounding the perimeter of the Temple. “Are you ready?” Claire responds, “Why me, you could send Sawyer or Jin?” Claire also adds, “I need to know you will do what you said you would, I want my son back!” It would appear that Flocke has made a promise to Claire and manipulated her in a way that she’ll do whatever he says in order to get Aaron back. Flocke is only going to hurt those that won’t listen. This is going to be an interesting episode.

Flash Sideways and Omer wakes up Sayid. Omer reveals to us that in this timeline Sayid was still an interrogator for the Iraqi Republican guard. Omer says, “I know what kind of man you are!” But Sayid is not that man anymore. I guess we won’t see any bad-ass Sayid fighting in this timeline.

WHOOSH to 2007, Sayid is leaving because apparently he is evil. Miles reveals that Sayid was lying there dead for 2 hours (I thought it was like 15 minutes). “They tried to save you, but you were dead, so whatever brought you back, it wasn’t them!” Very interesting, so who or what brought Sayid back from the dead? Claire enters the temple and wants Dogen to meet Flocke outside. Sayid really doesn’t seem overly surprised to see a disheveled Claire (after 3 years when they all thought she died somewhere in the jungle). Dogen tells the 5th Beatle, Lennon, to put Claire in the hole and get Shephard and Reyes to his room immediately. Not gonna happen since Shephard and Hurley are at the Lighthouse with Jacob.

Sayid asks Dogen why Claire is at the temple. His response reveals a lot (answers we have been waiting to confirm for quite some time). “Claire is under the influence of an ANGRY man. For years he was trapped, and now with Jacob gone, he is free. He is EVIL INCARNET!” Dogen wants Sayid to kill Flocke with a small version of Gryffindors’ Sword

“He will come to you as someone you know, someone who has died. As SOON as you see him, drive this deep into his chest. If you allow him to speak, it’s already too late.”

WHOOSH to 2004 where Nadia and Sayid arrive at a very familiar hospital. Nice cameo by Dr. Jack Shephard. Turns out Omer borrowed money from a loanshark, and can’t payback his debt so they beat the crap out of him.

Back to 2007, and Kate arrives at the Temple. NICE, we are going to see a little cat fight go down between Claire and Kate. Miles reveals that Claire is there, and was taken into custody. Kate’s going to find her…fantastic. Sayid leaves the Temple and makes his way into the jungle. The pillar of smoke that makes that ‘ticka ticka’ sound and always seems pissed off is surrounding him, when out of the brush comes Flocke. “Hello Sayid.” (Note to self, Dogen said Sayid had to stab him before he spoke, so I don’t think this is going to work). Sayid stabs Flocke in his chest. Flock removes the blade, “Now why would you go and do that?” Flocke gives him the Gryffindor mini-sword back, and explains how Dogen was attempting to have Flocke kill him. Flocke wants Sayid to deliver a message to the Others in the Temple. Flocke goes on to say, “what if I told you, you could have anything in the world!” Sayid replies, “the only thing I ever wanted died in my arms, and I’ll never see it again.” (Is he talking about Nadia…or Shannon?) Flocke retorts, “What if you could?!” Hmm, me thinks we are beginning to see how this alternate flash sideways timeline is going to develop.

Sayid makes it back to the Temple and delivers the message, “Jacob is dead, you no longer have to stay here, you are free.” The Others have an ultimatum; either leave the temple and join him (Flocke) or stay and die. They have until ‘sundown’.

Kate finally gets a moment with Claire, and Claire is sitting in the ‘hole’ singing that nursery song back from Season I, “Catch a Falling Star”

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day

It’s eerie because she is singing to a large boulder on the ground. Claire is excited to see Kate, “they have my son!” Kate’s quick to inform Claire that she took Aaron when he was left in the jungle. She took him off the island and raised him. Claire looks like she is about to open a can of whoop-ass on Kate and even busts out a Reese Witherspoon “under-bite of distain” towards Kate. “I’m not the one that needs to be rescued Kate…(you bitch!)”

WHOOSH to a sideways 2004, and Sayid is playing the role of ‘super-fun and happy’ Uncle Sayid. The kids are off to school, and a dark SUV rolls up. It’s Omar from the Freighter crew?!? Omar takes Sayid to a restaurant. Why is it that all these mob guys ALWAYS have a restaurant as their hideout? It’s just like the Russian Arms dealer from 24. Turns out this mob loan-shark is Martin Keamy, the other prick from the Freighter crew. Keamy wants his money, and bad-ass Sayid is back. He shoots all three guys in the chest without hesitation or mercy. Welcome back Sayid. There is a rustle from the refrigerator and Jin is all tied up and not speaking any English.

WHOOSH to the Temple in 2007, and Sayid enters the inner spring room of the Temple where Dogen says, “You let him talk to you!” (This could be important later). Dogen reveals that he used to work at a bank in Osaka (not the Osaka from the Christiana mall in the mid 1980’s, but the city in Japan). His son was killed in a car accident because Dogen was driving him around while intoxicated. Jacob came to him in the hospital and said that he could save his son’s life, but that Dogen would have to go to the island for a new job and never see his son again. “The man outside I take it has offered you a similar bargain?” Sayid politely asks, “I’d like to stay…” and then goes airborne. He leaps at Dogen and pulls him into the “healing spring”. Dogen drowns. Lennon sees this, “He was the only thing keeping it out…you idiot, you just let it in.” Sayid has had enough of Lennon and slits his throat like a hog going to slaughter. Party time.

The ‘ticka ticka’ sound can be heard on the outside of the temple, and then like a freight train rolling through the station, Smokey slithers through the temple grounds killing everyone in his path. Kate jumps into the hole with Claire, and Miles runs and hides like Carter Burke did in Aliens. Ilana breaks down the door, and this is the first time Miles has seen Frank, Sun and Ben Linus. Jordin Sparks is only concerned with the location of Shephard, Reyes and Ford for some reason, but does add, “where is Jarrah, is he in here too?” Ben runs off to save Sayid. “C’mon Sayid, we’ve gotta get out of here, there is still time!” Sayid painfully responds, “not for me…” Ben gets the picture and books out of there.

Kate, Claire and Sayid walk out of the Temple courtyard to an eerie version of the “Catch a Falling Star” song from earlier. Flocke gives Claire a nod, and seems a bit annoyed/concerned that Kate is with them. The group of Flocke, Sayid, Kate, Claire and several Others walk of into the jungle….

BAMM- LOST

So is this the war that Charles Widmore referred to?

Is it going to be Jack, Hurley, Ilana and a couple Lostie stragglers like Jin vs. Flocke and the rest of them?

Where is Richard? He would have made it back to the Temple way before Kate did. (I am getting a little anxious for his back story).

Which side will Rose and Bernard take?

Are they setting us up for some apocalyptic ending that will result with the alternate sideways timeline?

Is Kate Gosselin really going to be on Dancing with the Stars?

RIP Dogen, you will be missed.

Until next week, Namaste and Good Luck!

-Slice

Season VI, Episode 5 – The Lighthouse

Line of the night – “Nothing, just you know…looking because I’m a big fan of temples, and history, Indiana Jones stuff.” - Hurley



The Lighthouse was a fitting title for tonight’s episode. A lighthouse emits light to aid in navigation, or in our case, guide a lost soul on the right path. So far we are still replicating Season I’s format with a Jack-centered episode for the 5th installment of the season. We start out with Jack in a sideways 2004 universe just returning home from a hospital shift. He cleans up, and notices his appendix scar (the same scar that Juliet gave him when she removed his appendix in Season 4). He is clearly unsure as to the origin of the scar, and looks in the mirror again like something is slightly off-center. Hmmm. Jack pulls up to St. Mary’s Academy where a young David is impatiently waiting for his…dad?!?

We transition back to the Temple in 2007 and Jack has an 'honest' conversation with our Asian friend, Dogen. It turns out Ford, Austen and Quan are not coming back to the Temple. Hurley finishes a game of tic-tac-toe with Miles, enters the Temple to find some food, and look who’s testing the pH of the waters but none other than Jacob. He needs Hurley’s help, “Someone’s coming to the island, and I need you to help them find it.”

Whoosh to 2004 and Jack’s at home with his son? I didn’t realize they had Ipods in 2004, but I guess I’m being ignorant. I wonder if David is listening to Drive Shaft? David doesn’t seem too happy about spending time with his dad, and it appears that Jack is either separated or divorced from David’s mother…but who could that be?

Back to 2007, Sayid makes a brief appearance and talks to Jack about his infection and how Jack did not want him to take the pill. Jack reveals to Sayid that the pill was poison and they wanted him to kill Sayid. “Whatever is happening to you, they said it already happened to someone else too.”

Perfect segue to a disheveled Courtney Love…I mean Claire Littleton. She’s helping Jin get out of the bear trap. “How long have you been out here?” Claire's responds, “Since you all left, how long ago was that?” Jin explaims, “3 years!” The lead singer of Hole is definitely out there. The first thing I would have said to Jin was, "when the hell did you learn to speak English?" Did Claire time travel with the rest of the Losties and live in 1977 for a bit, or did she remain on the same time line as Richard and the others when Benry moved the island?

Back to the temple and Dogen catches Hurley snooping around. Hurley sees Jacob again. “Tell him you’re a candidate.” Dogen gets a little spooked and leaves Hurley, but Hurley can’t go without Jack. Jacob gives Hurley some fuel for Jack's fire to come along. “Be cool man, act natural.” Hurley tells Jack that he needs to come with him. Jack is not going anywhere until Hurley says, “You have what it takes!” Jack is taken back…”What did you say, who told you that?” Jack now wants to know where Jacob is, but Hurley explains, “He turns up anytime he wants, like Obi-won Kenobi.” (Score 1 for Charlie Boucher).

We are back at Claire’s tent and I'm thinking she would be a 'candidate' for A&E's Hoarders. She has explosives, medical supplies and a Sorelle bassinet filled with something that resembles the skeleton of General Grievous from Star Wars. But seriously, when did she have time to visit Closic’s and score a Sorelle baby bassinet? Claire is ready to kill Justin (the Other) if he doesn’t tell her where her son is located, and at the same time she is ready to clean up Jin’s wounded ankle. “If there’s one thing that will kill you around here, it’s infection!” (I love irony.) Claire informs Jin that she is not by herself…So who’s with her? The young boy that appeared to Flocke maybe?

Kate makes a 20 second cameo and is out to find Claire. Evangeline Lilly just got paid $108,000 for that scene.

Whoosh back to 2004 and Jack arrives at the house where he grew up. His mom can’t find Christian Shephard’s Last Will and Testament, but apparently has no trouble finding a cheap plastic surgeon. God, she looks like Jocelyn Wildenstein, the notorious catwoman from NYC. “Jack, did your father ever mention a Claire Littleton?” So in this parallel timeline, Christian still had an illegitimate daughter in Australia.

Back to Claire and Jin, and Claire is fanatical about finding her son. Her DAD told her that the Others took Aaron, so she’s been picking off Others one by one in the jungle in hopes of getting her baby back. Jin is concerned that she is all alone. “Oh I’m not alone, I’ve got a friend!” Again, could this be the young boy who plays referee for the island?

Jack and Hurley are at the cave sanctuary from Season I. Jack finds Shannon’s asthma inhaler on the ground. I’ve been wondering what happened to that since Sawyer was falsely accused of stealing it, and tortured by Sayid in the first season. It is kind of weird, yet cool to see Jack back in the caves where he chased the ghost of his dead father so long ago. We see the 2 skeletons (referred to as Adam and Eve throughout the course of the series) lying there in the cave, and Hurley says, “Dude, what if we time travel again, like back to dinosaur times, died and we are buried here…what if these skeletons are us?” Excellent hypothesis Hurley, but I’ll take it one step further, what if the 2 skeletons are really Adam and Eve or the original human remains of Jacob and Essau/Smokey/Flocke? Just sayin.

Whoosh to 2004, and Jack can’t find his son. He ventures over to David’s mothers house and I’m hoping that Juliet answers the door. No luck and I can’t see any photos of David’s mother in the background so this will be a mystery for now. Turns out that his son is trying out for a conservatory at 7:30 pm. Gotta run.

Whoosh to 2007 and good times with Hurley and Jack in the jungle. Hurley reveals that he came back to the island because Jacob hopped in his cab and told him that he was supposed to go back, so he did. Jack’s replies with, “I came back because I was broken, and I was stupid enough to think that this place could fix me.” Don’t worry Jack…don’t you worry. There is a lighthouse on the edge of a cliff which they never saw before because they weren’t looking for it.

Still on the island and we are back with Claire Bear Grylls. Justin (the Other) says that they captured Claire because she was picking off their people. Claire was tortured in the same fashion as Sayid in the Temple, but she managed to escape. Claire questions Justin on the location of Aaron and he still swears they don’t have him. Jin jumps in and says that Kate has Aaron and watched over him for the past 3 years. Claire Bear Grylls kills Justin anyway with an axe to the gut…ouch.

Whoosh to 2004, Jack sees his son play the piano and a little Asian boy compliments David’s talent, and guess who his dad is? Turns out Dogen also has a music aficionado for a son. “They are too young to have this kind of pressure aren’t they?” Yes Dogen, they are.

Whoosh to the best scene so far this season. Jack and Hurley are in the tower of the lighthouse and Hurley is turning the dial to 108 degrees. The mirrors were used with the central signal fire to bring people to the island when it was set to the proper bearing, which according to Jacob is 108 degrees (the summation of the numbers). As he pulls down, I notice that each ‘degree’ on the dial has a name next to it, and the names match up with the names / corresponding numbers in the cave! It’s tough to make out the name next to the number 108, but I read somewhere that it says "Lighthouse". However, it should be noted that “Austen” was next to the number 51.

As the bearing of the dial is turned, Jack looks in the mirror and we see the pagoda where Jin and Sun got married and then the church for Sawyer's parents funeral. Jack notices the “23 – Shephard”, and when the bearing is set to 23 degrees we see Jack’s childhood home in the mirrors. Our first “awe yeah” moment of the season, nice. So Jacob’s been watching them the whole time, and Jack wants to know why. “What’s he want from me!?” Hurley doesn’t know the answer. Jacob is no where to be found, so Jack goes ballistic and breaks all the mirrors (7 years bad luck dude, thanks).

Whoosh sideways and Jack gets sentimental with his son, David. Jack reveals that his dad always used to tell him that he didn’t have what it takes, and Jack tells his son that he’ll love him no matter what. This is all well and good, but I want to know who Dave’s mom is!

“Jack broke your lighthouse, dude…mission unaccomplished…whoever needed your help to find the island is totally screwed!” Jacob views this outcome in a different way. In fact, he wanted Jack to see what was in the mirrors, and Jacob needs Jack to realizes how important he is. However, according to Jacob, Jack has to do it on his own, and has to find it himself…all he needed was a little guidance. A light to guide him on his path…mission accomplished. While Hurley and Jack are on the coastline, a very bad person is going to the Temple. It’s too late to warn those at the Temple (sucks for Miles and Sayid).

Final scene of the night in Claire’s tent again. Now she’s scored a Nalgene water bottle, seriously!? Jin tells Claire that he lied about Kate having the baby, and that the Others have Aaron. “Good, because if what you said were true, if Kate was raising Aaron, I’d kill her!” Wow Claire…really? Flocke enters the tent and Jin is taken back. “Oh that’s not Locke, this is my friend!”

BAMM – LOST Credits…

So does this mean that every time we saw Christian, it was really Smokey? Maybe when Christian appeared to Claire in Season 4, he took Aaron and used Claire to kick away some of the gray ash protecting Jacob’s cabin, causing a break in the ash seal, and allowing Smokey/Flocke access to the cabin.

Have you noticed every time Jack looks at his reflection in the sideways 2004, he seems unsure of this reality?

Who's David's mom?

What's going to happen when Flocke and Claire go to the Temple?

And where are Bernard and Rose (again)?

Until next week, Namaste and Good Luck!

-Slice

Season VI, Episode 4 – The Substitute

Line of the night – “This is the weirdest damn funeral I’ve ever been to…” – Captain Frank Lapidas.





Soooo do the paper lists originate from the ‘cave of chalk names’, and how did Jacob come up with these names, and why did Jacob have to touch each individual off the island to bring them to the island, and why were there numbers before each name, and why didn’t Sawyer ask about Kate’s name??? More and more questions…

We start out in 2004 and John Locke arrives home from his Sydney flight. I say to myself, “A hundred bucks says the ramp doesn’t go down…uhhh yahtzee.” Then I say, “double or nothing he’s gonna try to hop off the ramp and fall flat on his face.” Man, I should be at the Craps tables in Vegas right now! How sad is John Locke…really? A sad, unfortunate man to say the least. We get a nice surprise from the front door when Peg Bundy aka ‘Helen’ walks out to help him. Locke’s enjoying a Mr. Bubble bubble bath (I know I do) and Helen mentions that she would rather forego the lavish wedding, and just have her parents AND “YOUR DAD” be there when they get married. Interesting that in this 2004, John appears to have a good relationship with his father (so why is he in a wheelchair???).

John is no longer a man of faith, but now a man of science and pessimistic reality. He mentions to Helen that he met a spinal surgeon, and she responds with, “what are the odds of you running into a spinal surgeon…maybe its destiny?” John’s not buying it at all.

Whoosh to the jungle. “Alright Richard, it’s time to talk!”
Ricardos – What do you want from me?
Flocke – For you to come with me.
Ricardos – Why do you look like John Locke?
Flocke – I knew he could get me access to Jacob, and he was a candidate, or at least he WAS a candidate.
Ricardos – What do you mean…candidate?
Flocke – Jacob never told you…you followed all those instructions without question or reservation, and he never told you?
(Just then something, or should I say someone, spooks Flocke and we see a blonde haired boy in ‘others’ clothing with blood on his hands in the background). Flocke really seems freaked out. Richard’s not going anywhere and he bolts. Flocke takes off, manifests into Smokey and heads for Dharmaville. So who's this kid? A manifestation of Jacob? God? Aaron all grown up?

We transition to the beach and Jordin Sparks aka Ilana is crying. Ben lies about killing Jacob, and I hear the John Williams symphony orchestra in the background playing Indiana Jones music. Ilana takes some of the ash from the fire pit and puts it into a sack (I’m guessing she’s going to use this to offset the weight of some golden deity at a later date). Ben asks why Flocke took Richard. Ilana’s response, “he’s recruiting.”

Flocke enters Dharmaville in his human form and visits a wasted Sawyer drinking whiskey in his boxers. Stay classy Sawyer. “I thought you were dead!”…Flocke’s response, “I am.” “Well I don’t care if you’re dead, time traveling, or the ghost of Christmas past.” Love that line too. Sawyer knows that Flocke is not Locke because Locke was always scared, even if he pretended not to be. This intrigues Flocke. “What if I told you I was the person who could answer the most important question in the world?” Sawyer’s not concerned about that, he’s only concerned about his whiskey…until Flocke says, “Why are you on this island?” (Umm…hey Sawyer…tell Flocke that you’d like to find out, because this has been on ALL of our minds for 5 years!!!)

Whoosh to 2004, and John Locke has just been fired by Randy Nations. He can’t gain access to his van because a Yellow Hummer is blocking the door. Now who do we know that owns one of those…enter Hugo Reyes. Hurley owns the company, and also owns a temp agency where he tells John to go for a job. “Chin up dude, things are going to work out!”

Flocke and Sawyer are now in the jungle and Sawyer sees the same kid Flocke sees. Flocke runs after him (why didn’t he manifest into Smokey?) and falls to the ground. The boy says, “You know the rules, you can’t kill him.” Flocke responds with, ironically, a classic John Locke line, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!!!” Sawyer’s back in the jungle calling for Locke and Richard comes out to tell him to follow him to the temple. Sawyer has no interest.

Back in 2004 and Locke meets Rose at the temp agency. She’s the supervisor and still has terminal cancer. Poor Rose.

Welcome to the Jungle, we’ve got fun and games, we’ve got everything you want…including an interesting dialogue between Sawyer and Flocke. Sawyer explains a scene from ‘Of Mice and Men’ and pulls out a gun to see what happens if he puts a bullet in Flocke’s head. Flocke talks him out of it, “What I am…what I am is TRAPPED. Before I was trapped I was a man just like you. I could feel joy, I could feel pain (LIKE SUNSHINE AND RAIN…GIVE IT TO EM’ ROB BASE), I could feel anger, fear, to experience betrayal, and I know what it feels like to lose someone you love." Aha, Flocke is trying to empathize with Sawyer to get him on his side (the dark side). Nice move Flocke.

Back to the beach and Jordin Sparks wants to get to the temple. Ben’s concerned that Flocke will change his appearance and Ilana responds with, “he can’t…not anymore…he’s stuck this way!” (OK so why is that?) Sun is surprised to learn that Jin may be at the temple too, and is ready to mobilize but first they must bury John Locke’s body. They visit the Flight 815 make-shift cemetery and I can see Sun putting a flower on the grave of Nikki and Paulo. Ben gives a quick eulogy and Frank Lapidas delivers the line of the night.

Whoosh to 2004, John Locke doesn’t believe in miracles. You essentially just have to deal with life as it comes to you…these are the cards that you are dealt. Peg Bundy thinks that miracles happen all the time.

Back to sidekicks Fred and Barney as they make their way to the edge of a cliff. Sawyer almost falls into the ocean as the ladder gives way, but Flocke is there to save the day. We see a scale that is perfectly balanced with a white stone and a black stone (light and dark, good and evil, angels and demons, Jedi and Sith Lord). Flocke throws the white stone into the ocean, “Inside Joke.” Flocke leads Sawyer deep into the cave and “That’s why you are here!” The walls of the cave are covered by names proceeded by numbers! I can see the following: 19-Almeda, 195-Pace (Charlie Pace?), 222-O’Toole, 90-Troup, 8-Reyes, 16-Jarrah, 15-Ford, 42-Kwon. Holy s--- what the hell does this all mean?

Back from commercial and John Locke is a substitute junior high school teacher. And now we find out what happened to one of the ‘others’. Ben Linus - European History…and he’s anal about making more coffee…just like me. You kill the Joe…you make some Mo…

Now I want some answers from the cliffside cave. Sawyer wants to know what’s up with the numbers before each name. Flocke’s response, “Jacob had a thing for numbers.” (Weak sauce Lost writers) We get a number of transition scenes showing Jacob making physical contact with members of the Oceanic survivors as Sawyer reads the names off the cave wall. Flocke also reassures James Ford that some time in his life when he was miserable and vulnerable, Jacob visited him and ‘pushed him to the island’. (4 – Locke, 8 – Reyes, 15 – Ford, 16 – Jarrah, 23 – Sheppard, 42 – Kwon) Note to self, I did not see Kate’s name any where in the cave. I did see a 313 – Littleton, which is Claire's (and technically Aaron’s) last name.

We finally get some very important answers from Flocke to end the episode, but who knows if he is telling the truth. Jacob thought he was the protector of the island so a candidate is a nominee, so to speak, to take over that job. Flocke explains that there are 3 choices: 1) Do nothing and see how all this plays out and possibly your name could be crossed off. 2) Accept the job, protect the island (but it’s just an island and there is nothing to protect it from...its a joke). 3) We just go; we just get the hell off this island and never look back.

Sawyer asks, “How do we do that?” Flocke – “Together…so what do you say James, are you ready to go home?”

Sawyer - “HELL Yes!” BAMMMM - LOST

And now the dark lord of the Sith has his apprentice...Mwhahaha. These writers love to throw in Star Wars references all the time.

OK – I’m going to take it one superlostnerd step further, because I believe in the theory that Aaron is the key to everything. Maybe Aaron is the “candidate” that will replace Jacob and ‘protect the island’ in the future. I went back and checked the numbers proceeding his last name in the cave (313-Littleton). I looked up some bible versus (since there are so many Christian theology overtones in the show), to see if any one verse made sense to go along with the show. Here is what I came up with.

Matthew 3:13 – “Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John.”
Luke 3:13 – “Don't collect any more than you are required to," he told.”
John 3:13 - “No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man.”
Acts 3:13 – “The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of our fathers, has glorified his servant Jesus. You handed him over to be killed, and you disowned him before Pilate, though he had decided to let him go.”
Mark 3:13 – “Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him.” (Maybe some significance here? – Jacob bringing those individuals to the island?)

I don’t know if it matters at all, but just found it interesting. It is going to be extremely fascinating to see how this all plays out and what, if any, significance Aaron has in the grand plot of LOST.

It's also interesting that Ilana knows that Flocke can't manifest into any other individuals moving forward. Why is that? It's a little disappointing because Smokey has only ever appeared as people that have died...it would have been cool to see Juliet appear to Sawyer (Smokey in disguise).

Until next week, Namaste and Good Luck!

-Slice

Season VI, Episode 3 – What Kate Does

Line of the night – “You’re not a zombie, right?” - Hurley is classic.






Facts - Sayid’s alive and the snow outside really stinks. But is this really the Iraqi torturer we know and love...and exactly how many inches of snow are we really going to get (again)? Anyway, I've learned that the body can survive without blood flow to the brain for up to 10 minutes, and I think our friend Sayid was lying there…dead…for more than 10 minutes. Lennon, (these writers love the Beatles) the Hippie Other, informs Asian Jack Sparrow that Sayid is indeed alive. Kate can’t seem to grasp how it is possible, and Sawyer’s response is, “He’s an Iraqi torturer who shoots kids, he definitely needs another go around.”

We transition to a different sort of Whoosh…the kind of Whoosh that sounds like an airplane landing on a sheet metal runway. We see Kate carjacking the Puppet Master from NBC’s “Heroes” and Claire just happens to be the passenger. Before I go any further, I have a hunch that we are witnessing the actual events of the end of the series and not an alternate time line as stated last week…discuss amongst yourselves. Jack’s on his cell as Kate takes the cab hostage AND...building off of what Nurse Kim commented last week, it looks like Jack knows her (Kate). Puppet Master almost hits Doc Artz as he’s crossing the street. “I’m walking here, I’m walking here.” – another classic Back to the Future reference.

Metal grinding Whoosh to the island. “Thank you Jack for saving my life.” Sayid seems a little…off, don't you think? Sawyer commandeers a gun somehow and plans on leaving the Temple. Kate assures Lennon that she can bring him back. Key Line Here – “It’s VERY important that he gets back here safely.” Hmmmmmmm.

Whoosh to 2004, and Kate gets her handcuffs taken off by a Mickey Rourke stunt double. She opens Claire’s LeSportsac bag to find baby bottles and a Shamu doll (would have been funnier if it were a stuffed polar bear). She’s disgusted with herself and I can’t blame her…you make me sick Kate.

Back on the island - Kate has a little heart to heart with Jack, “you be careful out there” WAIT FOR IT…cue the soft piano and violin soundtrack. Lennon and Asian Jack Sparrow have Sayid tied down, and it looks as if they are going to torture him…isn’t it ironic…don’t cha think. After an Indian rug burn, a titty-twister and 2 wet-willys, Sayid has had enough. Lennon informs Sayid that he passed the test, and as Sayid is being carried out he says, “I just lied to him didn’t I.”

Whoosh to 2004, Kate finds Claire and offers to take her to the couple planning to adopt Claire’s unborn child. Note to self, the last time we watched a Kate/Claire episode was in Season 4, and it had a great ending with Kate giving Aaron a hug! One of the best "Holy Sh--" moments ever. I wonder if we are in store for another great reveal at the end of tonight’s episode. I wonder...

Transition to Kate in the jungle with Jin, the dude from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Aldo), and another Other named Justin. Kate and Jin ask why the others are protecting them, and finally we get a legitimate question from the Losties. Aldo informs them that they are protecting the Losties from the pillar of smoke that makes that ‘ticka ticka’ sound and always seems pissed off. Jin asks about the other plane that landed on the island, and just before he's about to get his answer Kate pistol whips Aldo and sets off the 'big sack of rocks' trap on Justin. Kate is about to do what she does best…RUN.

Asian Jack Sparrow still has yet to introduce himself to anyone and appears to be using Joker rolling papers to hold some sort of substance. It looks a lot like the pill Neo swallowed in the Matrix. Jack Shephard’s informed that he has to get Sayid to take the pill, or it won’t work. They need to diagnose Sayid to see if he is infected. As Asian Jack Sparrow puts it, “this is your chance to redeem yourself Jack.” At this point, Sayid is still slightly off-center, and Hurley delivers, “You’re not a zombie, right?” Jack informs Sayid that the Others want him to take this pill, and Sayid says he will take the pill if Jack wants him too, “I only care about those who I trust.”

Metal Whoosh to 2004, Kate pulls up to the adopting family’s home…my guess is that Juliet’s behind the door! Wrong Answer McFly. Turns out the woman who answers the door is no longer interested in Claire’s baby because her husband left her. (I wonder who her husband is.) Claire goes into labor and it's very coincidental that Kate is with her, again, to experience this.

Whoosh to 2007 (I think), and Kate tracks Sawyer to the former Dharma camp. Sawyer's on a Goonie adventure prying up floor boards in his 1977 house. Instead of discovering One-Eyed Willie's treasure, he finds a shoebox with a black velvet sack. Wide angle pan to the dock in Dharmaville and Sawyer reveals that it’s his fault Juliet is dead. Kate informs Sawyer that she’s on the island to find Claire, and bring her back to Aaron. Sawyer admits that he was selfish and didn’t want to be alone when they first got accepted into Dharmaville. We see an engagement ring in his hand. “I was going to ask her to marry me,” and he throws the ring into the water. RIP Juliet.

I bet we see Claire on the island before the end of the episode…just another hunch.

Metal Whoosh to 2004 and Kate takes Claire to the hospital instead of delivering the baby on a jungle log like the first time we witnessed this. We need a doctor, and who happens to turn around, but none other than Ethan Rom (Goodspeed). I guess the Dharma initiative still happened in this reality because Horace and Amy Goodspeed are his parents. The irony of this scene is that the first time around when Ethan helped Claire with the pregnancy he was ALL ABOUT drugging her up. In this reality, Ethan is very apprehensive about giving her drugs. “Is Aaron Ok?” Yes Claire, Aaron’s fine, he just moves around a lot.

Jack is back at the Temple and we find out the real name of Asian Jack Sparrow. He introduces himself as Dogen. Dogen reveals that he prefers to speak Japanese because he has to separate himself from the rest of the group. Sometimes his instructions are frowned upon. After Jack goes nutty and attempts to swallow the Matrix pill, Dogen stops him and reveals it was poison. By the way, he was brought to the island, just like everyone else.

We are back in 2004, Claire’s looking at an ultrasound dated October 22, 2004 (I wonder if that is important to know). The cops come in to ask her questions about a “Joan Hart”. Now why would the cops care about Melissa Joan Hart from Sabrina the Teenage Witch?

Now to the really important stuff as we hear a metal Whoosh that takes us back to the Temple and Jack/Dogen. The pill is poison and they want Sayid to take it because they believe he’s been claimed by a darkness growing inside him, and "once that darkness reaches his heart, the man you once knew will be gone." Jack still has trust issues with Dogen, “and how do you know that!?” Dogen – “because it happened to your sister!” NICE.

Final scene and Jin is off to find Sun. He gets jacked by Aldo and Justin. Aldo wants to kill Jin as a payback for Kate kicking his ass twice now. Key Dialogue Here – “We should take him back, he’s one of them!” Aldo responds, “he MAY BE one of them.” One of what…who…huh? Aldo gets shot and Sayid turns around to face the marksman…it’s a very dirty and badly-permed……CLAIRE!

Nice, glad to see Claire is roaming the jungle on the island, but it still does not make any sense as to why she would just leave Aaron in the jungle in Season 4, completely disappear, and then end up in Jacob’s cabin with Christian. We really need some answers with her.

Also, why are the Others so interested in our LOSTIES. “He MAY BE one of them.” Really, well what is that supposed to mean?

Finally, why can't Jack just be civil. Sit down Jack, ask Dogen the important questions like, "4 hours ago we were in 1977 and now we are here, what happened?"

Until next week when we get our first 'Flocke' episode, Namaste and Good Luck!

-Slice

Season VI, Episode 1 – LA X Part I and II

Line of the night – “If it’s confidential (a 314) then how am I supposed to know if I see one…(alternate time line Sawyer)


Yeah I said it…alternate freaking timeline.

To quote Doctor Emmit L. Brown from Back to the Future II, “Assuming we succeed in our mission, this alternate 1985 will be changed back into the real 1985, instantaneously transforming around Jennifer and Einie. Jennifer and Einie will be fine, and they will have absolutely no memory of this horrible place.”

Digest that and we’ll talk later.

To the episode: Alyssa B. will be relieved to know that I DID have my fancy dancy Daniel Faraday notebook with me as I took notes at a transcriber’s pace this evening. We open with the finale of Season V, and Juliet is covered in blood trying to detonate the hydrogen bomb. It worked! The camera shot pans back to a much older Jack Shepard waking up from a day dream (hmmm) on an airplane?! He starts up a very familiar conversation with Rose and all of the sudden we hit some turbulence.

Jack – “Looks like we made it.”
Rose – “Yeah, we sure did.”
Slice – “What in the sam hell is going on here!”

Jack visits the airplane bathroom to regain his composure, and looks completely freaked out…like something is not right, and what’s that on his neck??? Jack sits back down (I can see Locke in the next row sitting next to Frogurt) and is joined by DESMOND? Desmond mentions that since they took off from Sydney he had to move because the guy next to him was snoring. Jack seems perplexed, “Do I know you from somewhere?” Desmond responds with, “Well nice to meet you ..or see you again.” (Side note – when Jack ran into Desmond in the premiere of season II, he remembered Desmond instantaneously from his time running the steps at the LA Coliseum).

Here’s the kicker – the camera goes back to the window…pans towards the clouds and we travel down expecting to see the island. Well we travel into the ocean, and instead of seeing Ed Harris and his team from the movie The Abyss, we see the old Dharma houses…a swing set…and finally a foot of the giant statue of the Egyptian goddess Tawere…all underwater? My nose just started to bleed.

Whoosh – we are in the woods and Kate is in a tree...she climbs down and the 1977 losties regroup at the Hatch (or what’s left of it). It appears that by detonating the bomb, the group was transported back to their own time (2007 at this point), and they all still on the island…including Juliet who is at the bottom of the drill boring. Sawyer kicks Jack in the face, “You were wrong! You said you could stop it! This ain’t LAX and we are right back where we started, except Juliet is dead!” Way to pour salt in the wound Sawyer…

Whoosh and we are back on the plane. Sawyer is here and he strolls by a hand-cuffed Kate Austen. Sawyer gives her a look like he knows her and they are in cahoots…muy interesante. We see Doc Artz (who literally blew up in Season I) talking to the owner of Mr. Clucks, Hugo Reyes. Also, interesting to note that Hurley says nothing bad ever happens to him and he’s the luckiest guy alive.

Whoosh back to the hatch scene and Kate hears Juliet. They start to remove the metal debris. Hurley is back at the Dharma bus getting Sayid’s blood all over him, “Oh god…this is so gross.” Jacob shows up, “Hurley, you got a minute?”

Back on the Oceanic Flight and now we see Boone alive and well talking to John Locke about his Walkabout in Australia. I am beginning to think that some sort of alternate time line has been created...or perhaps we are getting a glimpse of the ENDING of the series...we may literally be seeing the end of Season 6.

“If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." Remember this for future episodes....just sayin.

Whoosh to 2007, and Hurley is talking to a dead Jacob. My buddy Charlie cries out that Jacob is now like Obi-Wan Kenobi and Hurley is like Luke Skywalker. Jin won’t be able to see Jacob because he died about an hour ago. He explains that an old friend killed him who was tired of his company, and that if Hurley wants to save Sayid, he needs to bring him to the temple (and don’t forget the guitar case). Back at the Hatch and Sawyer gets in far enough to find a bloody mess that kinda looks like Juliet. She reminds me of the way little Carolann looked after she returned from ‘the light’ in Poltergeist. “It didn’t work, we are still on the island, I hit the bomb and we are still here!” Sawyer didn’t realize that Juliet hit the bomb until that moment.

WHOOSH and we are back on the plane. Cindy the stewardess needs a doctor. Turns out our buddy from Drive Shaft is not breathing in the cabin bathroom. Sayid comes back to help and kicks in the door (bad-ass Sayid style). Jack attempts CPR, but finds a bag of heroine blocking his airway. Jack fixes the situation, saves Charlie’s life, and Charlie is pissed because, "I was supposed to die!"

We transition to Jacob’s home at the base of the Tawere statue on the beach. Team Jordin Sparks lead by Bram enter the base of Jacob’s sanctuary with Ben and lots of firepower. They come face to face with Essau (as we shall refer to him) who has taken on the form of John Locke. Essau refers to Bram and his boys as “Jacob’s body guards”. One of them fires their rifle at Essau and he disappears. Within moments SMOKEY shows up and bangs the ‘extras’ around like little rag dolls. Bram grabs a sack of gray powder and encircles himself. He’s safe until he comes out of the circle (and is quickly disposed of). KEY LINE – “I’m sorry you had to see me like that!” Sooo Essau is Smokey who is the security line of defense for the island.

Whoosh to the other side of the island (in 2007 I am guessing) and Sawyer is having his final moment with Juliet. She finally dies and we all share a moment of silence. Sawyer comes out of the drill boring, “You did this!” as he looks in Jack’s direction. To be accurate Sawyer, Jack didn’t do this, the extremely strong magnetism of the area sucked Juliet down the drill boring. If anyone should be at fault, it should be Radzinsky.

Whoosh back to the airplane. Matt Parkman is reprising his role as the pilot and he announces their approach into Los Angeles. As the plane lands and they are all safe, I don’t recall ever seeing Claire, Michael, Walt, Ana Lucia, Libby, or even Nicki and Paulo? END OF Episode 1 Part 1...Oceanic Flight 815 has safely landed in Los Angeles = weaksauce in my book.

Part II – Hurley is off to the temple with Kate, Jack and Jin to try and save Sayid. Miles hangs back with Sawyer to play ghost whisperer with Juliet’s fresh grave. Miles starts to quiver and shake…and Sawyer has officially gone loco. “It worked…she said that it worked!” (ok – I am guessing she is referring to the alternate time line that has been going on so far).

Hurley and the gang get to the temple only to be Sayid-jacked by a bunch of other others. They are brought to the attention of an Asian Captain Jack Sparrow. Cindy the former Oceanic Flight 815 stewardess says, “They were on the FIRST plane, Oceanic Flight 815 with me.” (Hmmm the FIRST plane huh…thanks Cindy). Asian Captain Jack (as I will refer to him) wants them killed, but Hurley mentions that they were sent by Jacob. The guitar case houses an Egyptian Cross that represents life. Inside the cross, the names of all of the Losties are written down on a famous “Jacob list”.

They bring Sayid into the temple and a ‘fountain of life’ awaits him. Asian Captain Jack slices his hand just like Alan from the Hangover when he tried to recruit more wolves for his pack….could it be? Instead of becoming blood brothers with Sayid, Asian Captain Jack looks for his own hand to heal and then they place the lifeless body of Sayid face down in the water. Like the sands of time drop in an hour glass so do the days of our lives, and the others finally bring Sayid’s body to the surface. “Your friend is dead!” Jack tries CPR anyway.

Throughout this episode there have been a few flashes to the LAX airport where Kate, again, beats the living piss out of the Federal Marshall, interacts with Sawyer in an elevator (I guess they don’t know each other), attempts to steal a cab from Frogurt, and finally jumps into a cab with Claire!

Whoosh - Back at the Temple and Hurley informs Asian Captain Jack that Jacob is dead. The others go into GI Joe mode and transform the temple into a barricade to keep Essau out. They send out a flare to warn Richard’s group on the beach.

Back at the beach with Richard’s group and Essau explains to Ben that the last thought in John Locke’s mind was “I don’t understand’. Essau confirms that John is and ever will be a weak, pathetic, broken man…whom despite all this is the only one out of the survivors from 815 that wanted to stay. The ironic part of this is that Essau wants the one thing that the actual John Locke didn’t, “I want to go home!”

Back to the airport and Oceanic has lost Christian Shepard’s coffin and has also lost Locke’s bag o knives. Jack chats it up and offers to give John a free consultation regarding back surgery. “Nothing is irreversible”.

Back to the beach in 2007, Essau emerges from the sanctuary and Richard looks scared to death. “It’s good to see you out of those chains!” “YOU!” Essau knocks out Richard and marches into the jungle, only to say that he is very disappointed in ‘all of you’. (I am guessing that Richard was on the Black Rock British Trading Ship as a Slave or Laborer).

Finally back to the Temple and Jack has been asked by Asian Captain Jack to have a private conversation. Jack does not go quietly. We hear a ruckus and HOLY CRAP SAYID’S ALIVE!!!

BOOM _ END CREDITS!

What did you think of the final premiere EVER?

By the end of the episode, the room where we watched the premiere was a cascade of blank stares.
Andre was still confused on why there were 2 John Locke’s,
Rebecca was researching the symbol in the guitar case,
Angela was annoyed that the Asian leader wouldn't just speak english,
Charlie was so overwhelmed that at one point he thought the 1977 Dharma Losties had caught up to the 2007 Others (with Sun and Frank Lapidas) but they were exactly one hour behind them in time?! Huh?
And I still couldn’t get over how the HELL the island was 200 feet underwater?

Was there anything else we learned that I may have missed?

Until next week, Namaste and Good Luck!

-Slice